Water Witch Page 18

“You’re helping me? How? By implying—”

  “You’re a moron, aren’t you? Look. You’re infertile. All Fenerec outside the rut are. That’s basic Fenerec biology. If you want puppies, you can’t be firing blanks.”

  “Who the hell do you think you are?” the Alpha snarled, taking a single step forward.

  I didn’t need witchcraft to see my death in his eyes. I wasn’t ready to kill again, but I wasn’t ready to die yet, either. I froze the blood in his legs and cramped every muscle from his hips down to his toes. With a startled cry, he crashed to the ground.

  I released my witchcraft, which grudgingly heeled but waited to strike again if needed. “Water witch,” I reminded him. “Your body is made up of water. I can feel your anger, hear the fast beat of your heart, and sense the blood rushing through your veins. I don’t want to kill you, but if it becomes a choice between you and me, I’m walking away. I get it. Being an Alpha sucks.”

  “How could you get it?’

  “Easy. Dad’s an Alpha. My uncle’s an Alpha. I know other Alphas, too. Mom’s Alpha enough to kick the shit out of Dad. I’ve lived it since the day I was born.”

  The Alpha stilled, and he paled. “Which city?’

  “Seriously? You just went along with your half-baked mate’s plan? Without figuring out who I was and who I was related to? Are you fucking nuts?”

  “I’m old, I’m tired, and my Meredith wants puppies before she’s too old. What else was I supposed to do?”

  I sighed, as I understood that far too well. “You ask for help. Also, maybe use your head. Let me help you salvage some part of this shit situation, because I’d rather not see your pack wiped out because of your mate’s idiocy.”

  I could take some flack from Dad, especially if I let him come to the conclusion I’d gone along with it of my own free will. It wouldn’t be a hard sell.

  New life beat the constant pressure of death hanging over my head, and I’d just have to shrug off his questions to keep from telling any lies.

  “Why?”

  I hated that question. “I’ve seen real monsters, sir, and your pack? You’re not monsters. Not yet. I can’t make any promises, but at least this way, I can say I tried. Do us all a favor, call for your mate, and at least try to give the damned woman a puppy. That involves a bed, sir. Well, I suppose your desk might do, but I can’t imagine it would be comfortable. Figure your shit out so I can go home.”

  It took some coaxing, but my witchcraft cooperated to help restore the Alpha’s legs mostly to the same condition before I’d used my magic on him. I left his office and wandered to the koi pond to watch the fish. I doubted they could swim their way out of an overturned cardboard box, but there was something to be said for living a simple life.

  In retrospect, I should have put a little thought into what I was saying before challenging a werewolf’s virility. The Alpha accepted my challenge, and I regretted opening my stupid mouth.

  There was nothing quiet about a pack in a frenzy, and once the Alpha got it into his thick skull there was more than one way to fry an egg, he got creative. He also became adventurous, which meant nowhere on his property was safe, not even the pond.

  The fish were really not happy about their home being invaded.

  After the third day, I hid on the roof, the one place the amorous pairs hadn’t thought to try. It didn’t protect me from the sounds, but at least I avoided the worst of it. Four days into their marathon, I considered telling them to cool their jets already, but she seemed to be happy and he had something to prove.

  I just wanted some uninterrupted sleep and a phone.

  A week later, I finally snapped. I conjured water out of their well, the nearby lake, and from a few too many puddles, and dumped it on the pair, who had decided the front lawn was a good place for their fun. “You’re not going to add extra puppies that way, damn it!” I hollered from the roof. “Take a damned break already.”

  If she carried them to term, three sparks of life grew within her. I hoped they survived.

  Maybe their parents were assholes, but those puppies would be treated like the treasures they were, of that I had no doubt.

  “What the hell are you doing on my roof?”

  “I’m trying to escape from you fiends. She’s pregnant, okay? She was pregnant days ago. Please stop.”

  The pair laughed at me, but they went inside to continue their private business.

  I sighed my defeat and hoped someone would come to their senses soon.

  It took a few more days before the Alpha, who finally got around to telling me his name was Derek Salin, gave me free rein over his office so I could make some phone calls and try to make sure the Florida pack had a future.

  As far as I was concerned, the asshole owed me some good surfing, and when I told him so, he laughed and promised there’d be some waves in my future.

  I would spin that to my benefit. Sure, I’d get in trouble with just about everyone, but exactly no one would think twice about me accepting a bribe to go surfing.

  Meredith’s triplets would become their saving grace, as would the other puppies on the way, thanks to the Alpha and his mate losing their minds.

  The number of unborn puppies around was the equivalent of some happy drugs for my witchcraft, which basked and left me alone for a change.

  My first task would be to call Dad on his cell. I expected a spectacular explosion laced with some form of parental emotion, and I couldn’t guess which one it would be.

  I dialed his cell number, cringed, and waited for him to answer.

  “Chief Walker,” he answered, his voice weary.

  Yep. I’d cut a few more years off my father’s life. “I had absolutely nothing to do with this, and I’m hereby informing you I didn’t willingly violate any household rules until I was bribed with good surfing.”

  The silence worried me.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned the bribed with good surfing part.

  “Dad?”

  “Where are you?”

  “Hell is hot, humid, and occupied by mosquitos. I’m in Florida somewhere. I’m fine, mostly.”

  “Please define mostly for me, so I can react accordingly.”

  I relaxed, as when he asked that question, he was ready to think coherently. “They had no idea I have a heart condition when they grabbed me, which triggered a relapse. I’m fine, but I spent a week sleeping it off. One of their wolves has medical training, and honestly, you should ask them about their set up. It’s pretty nice. They’re idiots, but they’re not the kind of idiots who deserve any real punishment for it. I fixed the problem, and honestly, if they’d just asked in the first place, I would’ve accepted their bribe of good surfing and wandered off without parental permission anyway. I’m an asshole like that.”

  “Please define ‘they’ for me, and I’m taking you at your word on that.”

  “‘They’ is a Fenerec pack with an Alpha who seems to have missed his sex education for Fenerec courses. He needed a swift kick in the ass, which I provided. I only had to knock his legs out from under him once.”

  “No casualties?”

  “They seem to have developed a multiplication problem rather than a casualty problem.”

  Dad sighed. “We’ve been worried sick.”

  “Literally or figuratively?”

  “Literally, particularly your mother.”

  “Ew.”

  “Dustin.”

  “It’s not my fault,” I grunted. “Okay, so, it’s partially my fault. Once I figured out what was going on, I stuck around because I wanted to. So it’s somewhat my fault. It’s actually your fault, as I’m such a badass witch everyone wants me.”

  Except his pack, but I’d let that ride. Eventually, I might even be able to accept I’d never amount to anything more than a scary outsider.

  Huh. I understood how the devil felt. I’d have to have a chat with Desmond at some point about it. If he could survive life on the outside, maybe I could, too.

  “All
right. I believe you. Tell me what happened.”

  I recognized my father’s ploy for what it was. “There’s no need to jump around like a puppy after a toy, Dad. You don’t have to trace the call. I can get the address from one of the wolves. I don’t actually remember them grabbing me, and honestly, I don’t remember much of anything until they stopped sedating me, which I assume was after they got me to Florida. They were pretty careful. If they had known I have cardiomyopathy, I expect I would’ve made it here safe and sound without a relapse. After we got here, I spent a week napping, and the rest of the time, let’s just say the wolves were rowdy.”

  “And after you enjoyed your week-long nap?”

  “I’m a child with delicate sensibilities. Please don’t ask me to detail that. I’ll beg. Please don’t ask. I’ve had enough sex ed training for Fenerec to last an entire lifetime, thank you.”

  My father chuckled. “All right. Do you have your wallet? We found your keys and cell phone, but we couldn’t find your wallet. From what we can tell, they got you while you were unlocking your car.”

  “Please tell me they ruined my junker.”

  “Your junker, alas, is still intact, and I moved it to the house after forensics and the detectives went through it.”

  “Well, damn.”

  “If you want a new car, you could just ask for one. I tried to get you a new one when you trashed your other one with that monsoon stunt, but you told me no.”

  “That one was a good deal until the door stopped working right.”

  “I had noticed the driver’s side door had been rather non-functional. Please tell me you weren’t actually climbing in from the passenger side.”

  “What you don’t know can’t hurt you.”

  “I’m going to take a bat to that damned car, and we can discuss a new one when you get home.”

  “That is my car, and if anyone is going to take a bat to it, it will be me. You can help after I’ve done my fair share.”

  “That is fair. So, do you have your wallet?”

  Did I? If Derek wanted me to respect his property, he shouldn’t have let his mate kidnap me. I rummaged through his drawers, chuckling when I located my wallet in one. “Apparently, yes. I have my wallet.”

  “I’ll find an Inqu—”

  “No. If you do something like that, you’ll make a mess of it. I’ll handle taking myself to the airport, thank you. The Alpha’s mate is pregnant with triplets. Let’s not turn this into an actual tragedy, Dad.”

  “You really were taken because of the rut?”

  I sighed. “She wanted a puppy. He’s an idiot who needed a kick in the ass and a reminder of how reproduction works. They’ve been at it for a week, Dad. And...” I shuddered at the memory.

  Dad cracked up laughing. “The entire pack got rowdy.”

  “At their house,” I complained.

  “All right. That’s an entirely different problem. West coast packs are much better about puppies than those out on the east. Hell, there’s only one pack out east with any hope of getting Fenerec bitches through to labor successfully. So, I need some information from you. How many Fenerec bitches are there? If there are any, are they pregnant? They’ll need help with the little one if they want her to make it to labor.”

  “They have at least one bitch, and yes, she, like every other damned woman in the pack, is pregnant.”

  “Dustin, you’re not supposed to meddle with fertility.”

  “I didn’t meddle. Not on purpose at least.” I needed to thwap my witchcraft across the nose. “My witchcraft really, really likes puppies, Dad.”

  “Well, shit. You’re serious?”

  “If you were to think of my witchcraft as a cat, it is happy, it is purring, and it wants nothing more than more damned puppies around,” I complained.

  “That’s good to know. If your witchcraft likes puppies, we’ll make sure you’re able to work with puppies during the winter and later in pregnancies. That’ll take some medical training on your part, but we can transfer some of your shifts from the morgue to obstetrics for a while. We’ll figure out a cover story for the changes unless we can find some Inquisition trainers to work with you. Everyone needs a witch who can help with the puppies, and most can only help prevent the bitches from transforming.”

  “Okay.” If Dad thought I would argue about less time in the morgue, he was off his rocker. “Is the devil a good person to call about this?”

  “Actually, yes. He loves puppies, and once he finds out it was a puppy problem, he’ll be able to help the bitch and make sure everything is smoothed over with the Inquisition. I’ll give you his number.”

  I grabbed a notepad and a pen, and I jotted the number down. “The Alpha had no idea I was a Fenerec’s puppy.”

  “Your witchcraft has gotten strong enough to mask the scent. Don’t worry about it. Anyway, if the Alpha has triplets on the way, and they’ve been in a frenzy, they’ll need all the help they can get. Call Desmond, tell him about the situation, and make it clear you want to avoid a tragedy, as you told me. Also, make sure you tell him your witchcraft likes puppies. That’ll make it easier on you—and it’ll help him set the tone for his meeting with the pack. Talk him into it, and he’ll resolve the issues. Just don’t expect an easy time of it.”

  I’d already learned nothing worth doing came easily, so I ignored my Dad. “All right. I’ll give the devil a call, and I’ll call you back when I’m headed home.”

  “You do that. I’ll tell your mother you’re fine and on the way. I expect she’ll drag me to the airport by the ear and armed with her spoon.”

  I had one way I could keep her from assaulting Dad with her spoon. “Tell her I’m expecting a roast just for me, and she can cook the rest of my favorite foods. That should keep her busy for a while. I guess it’ll be tomorrow, depending on what the devil says.”

  “It’ll take him at least eight hours to get to you, so yes. Probably tomorrow.”

  “Are my sharks okay?”

  “The little one is sick, but someone from the aquarium came over and set up a new tank in your room just for him, which has helped. The other babies go back next week, as they’re large enough now for the main tank. I’ve been informed it’s probable we’ll be stuck with the runt.”

  “Stuck?” I loved Quiet Lurker, and I would fight for my little deformed runt. I expected he wouldn’t live more than a few years, but while he was my shark, I’d take good care of him.

  “I don’t want a spoiled, bite-sized predator for a pet,” Dad complained.

  “Stop whining, Dad. Just be glad I put up with a full-sized predator sharing living space with me.”

  I called the devil, and I squeaked when Wendy answered.

  “That’s a new one,” the woman murmured. “I’m not going to yell. How can I help you?”

  “It’s Dustin.”

  Wendy gasped. “Are you all right? Do you need help? Where are you? Wait. Caller ID says you’re at the Salin residence? In Florida? What are you doing in Florida?”

  I twitched at the cascade of questions. “I’m fine. I already called Dad, and he said to give you a call.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “I was taken by a pack with a puppy problem, as in there weren’t any puppies, but now the Alpha has a litter on the way, and he has at least one Fenerec bitch who’ll need help.”

  “Please tell me what you mean by litter.”

  “His mate is expecting triplets.”

  Wendy laughed. “How far along?”

  “A few days. All the women are pregnant, I think.”

  “What did you do to that pack, Dustin?”

  “I didn’t do anything! I just told the Alpha he had to have sex if he wanted a puppy. I didn’t tell them to have a week-long marathon. They decided that on their own.”

  “You insulted his sexual prowess, didn’t you?”

  “I can’t help it. I’m an asshole. I was born this way. It’s Dad’s fault.”

  “You’re fine the way
you are, Dustin. What do you want to happen?”

  “I want those kids to have a mom and a dad, Wendy.”

  “I can make that happen for you. Charles will be grumpy, but he’ll take care of the puppies. And while he’s a grumpy old man, he loves children.”

  “He won’t have to do anything harsh?’

  “Whatever discipline is issued will be fair and non-lethal. That’s all I can offer you. Are you all right? Your parents have been terrified about your heart.”

  “I’m fine. I had a relapse, but I slept it off, and they have good equipment here.”

  “Good. Here’s what you need to do. Wait where you’re at. When Charles shows up, pretend you’ve never met him before. Do this every time you meet him. Do this with your uncle, too. It’ll protect you—and him—from the packs. The less they know, the better off you are. Also, don’t tell Charles I said this, but keep running your mouth at him as always. So few have the courage to. It makes him feel more human—and it lets him call you names, too.”

  “He calls me names?” I rolled my eyes. “That damned devil.”

  “You’re his little sea drake, and he can’t wait for you to grow up and become a dragon. He thinks he’s clever. Also, and this is very important. If he tries to take you home, make sure he’s taking you to the right state. He has a bad habit of trying to adopt people he likes, and submissive that I am, I seem entirely incapable of stopping him.”

  Like hell she was incapable of stopping him. I bet she encouraged him, and was the one who actually wanted to adopt people. “Does he know how to surf?”

  “Charles? No, I don’t think he does.”

  “He should come learn. I know a wolf in California. He gives me lessons. His brother has been teaching me how to dive, too.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Dustin.”

  “How long do you think I’ll be stuck here for? I’m not sure how much more of these rutting wolves I can take,” I confessed.

  Wendy laughed. “Not much longer, Dustin. Just hold on until then.”

  Eight hours after I called Wendy, Charles Desmond showed up, and he looked me over with narrowed eyes. “So. You’re the missing pup. You don’t look dead to me.”